hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
she looked like the before picture.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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