she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
