Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
