I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Man, jail baloney is awful.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
