You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
