Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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