You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
