i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
