she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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