marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
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And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
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No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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