When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
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