you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
