did you get engaged???
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
