Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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