i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Welp...herpes.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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