Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
