Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
