Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
