Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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