After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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