You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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