Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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