can we get nightvision for the apartment?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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