Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
