Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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