We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
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