So drunk its hurt
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
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