Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
