he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
