dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
