I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize
