Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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