can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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