no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
