Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
