I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
