like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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