Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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