i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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