We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
