so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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