This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize