There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
