I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
