In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
