Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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