people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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