Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He better not be in your backpack
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
