I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize