I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize