he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
