:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Randomize
