just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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