Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  come over anyways, right now, right this second

  (850): View more from Florida

  it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying

  (561): View more from Florida

  wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation

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  (850): come over anyways, right now, right this second (850): it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying (561): wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation http://tfl.nu/cwsr
  Replies (28) Good night (1003) Bad night (3190)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?

  (1-502): View more from Kentucky

  Welcome to every minute of my life.

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  (502): I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad? (1-502): Welcome to every minute of my life. http://tfl.nu/dbgu
  Replies (25) Good night (2839) Bad night (944)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

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  (310): Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/e0xw
  Replies (57) Good night (3965) Bad night (782)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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  (970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm
  Replies (23) Good night (706) Bad night (3385)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates

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  (978): If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates http://tfl.nu/qzzm
  Replies (28) Good night (4081) Bad night (761)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...

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  (360): The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy... http://tfl.nu/q7uq
  Replies (14) Good night (1264) Bad night (2481)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.

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  (914): at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors. http://tfl.nu/h61j
  Replies (5) Good night (3708) Bad night (1172)
• Favorite

  (308): View more from Nebraska

  Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?

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  (308): Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night? http://tfl.nu/mlvm
  Replies (8) Good night (2005) Bad night (665)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.

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  (303): She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her. http://tfl.nu/lf23
  Replies (4) Good night (1458) Bad night (563)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can

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  (775): He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can http://tfl.nu/kb09
  Replies (17) Good night (1604) Bad night (1025)
• Favorite

  (936): View more from Texas

  Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.

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  (936): Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible. http://tfl.nu/yk56
  Replies (3) Good night (668) Bad night (416)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump

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  (407): Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump http://tfl.nu/013u
  Replies (2) Good night (381) Bad night (722)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.

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  (360): Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight. http://tfl.nu/kads
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (901)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's

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  (757): My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's http://tfl.nu/2yaw
  Replies (2) Good night (472) Bad night (242)
• Favorite

  (941): View more from Florida

  It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"

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  (941): It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard" http://tfl.nu/p10u
  Replies (2) Good night (211) Bad night (339)

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