so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
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my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
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Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.