My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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