i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
