My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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