he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I did not marry a roomba.
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