Whats the glycemic index on semen?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
