I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
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