My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Pants are for mortals
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
