I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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