i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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