A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
