White coat. Heels.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
