dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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