I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
