needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
