Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
